If some of you aren't familiar with the term "unschooled," it means a person that hasn't received any formal/traditional schooling before the age of 18. It's totally not the glorified homeschooled experience that is touted to be, "One of the best ways to educate a child!" Nope, unschooling is a method that is completely lacking in any structure at all. There are great books and countless theoretical arguments for and against it. Yet all of them are lacking in any real data about adults who grew up with this method. I am one of those experimental adults who has experienced the ups and downs in life, and education, as a result of being unschooled. Although our social acceptance may be difficult sometimes, as a result of experiencing life differently than the average person, I am a firm believer that this method of unschooling helps to create and fosters critical thinkers, which is a wonderful thing.
From my experience, and small interaction with others that have been unschooled, we are horrible at standardized tests, which cannot even begin to measure our intelligence or our degree of success. We tend to be deep thinkers. I mean, what else are you supposed to do at home all day? We read a lot, and we are autodidacts obsessed with erudition (maybe not all of us), so much so, that learning with groups is not desirable or comfortable, (I don't mean just in a classroom I mean literally trying to learn something as a group.) simply because we see everything from a completely different perspective. We are perfectly comfortable on our own (most of us). It doesn't mean we are not social or are socially inept, we are simply used to it, and sometimes want it. Our methods of learning are extremely individualistic, so you can never put us into a box, period! This makes our ability to be taught something also incredibly difficult to the average teacher. With teachers that like the "hands off" approach, we thrive. My experience has been, the teachers that lead or guide, not push, information, have been the ones that I've worked best and most with. We are incredibly stubborn, yet very open to a good debate and will admit when we are wrong (mostly). But, don't treat us the same as everyone else, because we will make it clear (not on purpose) over and over that we are very different. We are the essence of otherness. Our life foundations are so far from the normal American enculturation that often we feel like foreigners in our own country. Believe it, because it's true. So why don't we just fit in, or become "normal?" I've been asked this question a lot, and it's like asking someone to bleach their skin white, it may be medically possible, but whats inside will never change because it is who we are, and I wouldn't change the way I was raised for anything.
Interestingly enough I haven't had a problem with being unschooled until I reached this program. I knew that I viewed life, and the world differently, and most of the time those differences were celebrated, or simply worked around and molded, or nurtured, to fit. I'm finding great difficulty finding a place for my specific set of differences here. So far I've felt marginalized and criticized by my difference, and we are only in the second week. This has led to great confusion, conflict and inner examination that needs not be an issue. While the rigors of doctoral studies are expected, what I didn't expect was to feel like my whole undergraduate and graduate experience prior to this was inadequate. Not only that, but my whole experience has been a contradiction to what I thought the discipline of women's studies was about. I seemingly feel more and more everyday isolated because I cannot find any representation of me here (it is still early). This is also incredibly ironic because some of the highly acclaimed feminist writers, were denied, or never went to pursue a doctorate, because of the dogmatism that can be present within academia, for example, Gloria Anzaldua. The more I read the more I get angry at the status quo. This isn't even mentioning my status as a single parent. Why is it that when 28% percent of all children in the United States between the ages of 0-17 live with single parents, we are still incredibly marginalized (childstats)?
If you are a single parent you have doubtlessly heard something similar to the following, "It must be hard growing up without a father?" or "How do you handle being a single parent?" or "You are my hero?" or "Your child is so well behaved!" While I understand that the last statement could be said about any child, it still irks me. Why? Because the insinuation is, since I am a single parent somehow my child is expected to be a degenerate. Yes, it can be hard growing up without a father. I wouldn't know, because my dad was always and continues to be, present in my life. Don't make the assumption that my child is crying every night for his dad, because he isn't! Furthermore, I handle being a single parent because I have too, and, quite frankly, some days it's hard and some days it isn't. There are a few things that are limited as a result, but no different than military parents, or parents that have a spouse that is gone a lot. (Although, they are more socially accepted, and there are generally two household earners.) I do understand that someone calling me a "hero" is meant to be a compliment. But, I'm not your hero, you have no idea who I am, simply being a single parent does not automatically make me heroic, even though it may seem like it, in the face of so much adversity. Quite on the contrary, many people scramble to judge me as the exact opposite. Lastly, I am not "trolling for a man," I am sometimes content and sometimes not content without a partner, but my singleparenthood has little to nothing to do with that.
Single parenting comes with certain limitations, and those limitations need to be recognized within the academic community. After all, unconventional students are quickly becoming the majority in many, if not most, colleges and universities across the nation:
So why are students like myself still facing extreme difficulty, or not being able to obtain, or have the tools necessary, to succeed and proceed in post secondary education and beyond? Of course there are schools that have daycares on campus, and I'm sure there are places where being a single parent doesn't automatically make you feel marginalized, I get that! But, those schools are in the minority. And, don't tell me,"There are great online programs out there for people just like you!" Do your homework! Those programs are primarily (not all) second rate and do not give you the skills you need to get a job, among countless other arguments against online educations, which include, financial aid, networking, limited science options, etc. Give me access to education that doesn't require me to leave my son without dinner, or require me to live at home with my parents so I have child care, or require me to take him to class and get the stink eye all night, or better yet, get asked to leave. Furthermore, don't ask me to neglect my son while telling me, "He will benefit in the long run." No he won't, because I won't be there for some of the most influential times in his life. I've heard it all and experienced it all. I've been in school since my son was born, and I've had to carefully navigate my education as a result, on top of being denied access to many academic programs. I'm not even going to go into my debt load. I will save that for another post. We as single parents need to stop being treated like Americas dirty little secret full of welfare mothers, man haters, women haters, and godless heathens. We are a varied bunch, and I'm sure like any group, there are those who are, and those who are not, the stereotype. Get over it!In recent years, the percentage increase in the number of students age 25 and over has been larger than the percentage increase in the number of younger students, and this pattern is expected to continue. Between 2000 and 2010, the enrollment of students under age 25 increased by 34 percent. Enrollment of students 25 and over rose 42 percent during the same period. From 2010 to 2020, NCES projects a rise of 11 percent in enrollments of students under 25, and a rise of 20 percent in enrollments of students 25 and over. (NCES)
These are the challenges I face, not all having to do with this doctoral program, but I have certainly been reminded of my social, cultural, and gender limitations in the first two weeks and it has made me very angry as a result.
I'm getting off my soap box now.
Cheers!
Sources:
http://www.childstats.gov/americaschildren/famsoc1.asp
http://nces.ed.gov/fastfacts/display.asp?id=98
No comments:
Post a Comment